A Love Note From Your Tummy

It hurts me to the core that countless babies are aborted after prenatal diagnosis of SB. It is incredibly hard not to take the abortions personally. I feel so connected to each child, because at one point, I was in their shoes, waiting to be born, and trusting my parents with my life. I didn’t know it yet, but I was.

These children do not yet have a voice, and do not have a vote in what happens to them, so I’ve decided to advocate. If I could go back to my pregnant mother and my father on my date of diagnosis (actually my birthday) knowing what I know now about all the good and bad that life has thrown me, I’d say this.

Mom and Dad,

Please keep me. I know it will be hard. I know there will be a lot of work for you to do. I also know it will be worth it. I know there will be countless tears, and up-all-nights, and worries, and pain. I also know there will be times you know you’ve made the right decision. You’ll know it when I grab your finger with my chubby little hand on the day I come into your world. You’ll know it when I give you sloppy baby kisses and shoot you a toothless, goofy grin accompanied with my sweet baby giggle. You’ll know it when I call you Mommy/Daddy for the first time. You’ll know it when I tell you I love you THIS BIG! You’ll know it when I go to school and make my first friend who sees past my disability and just wants to play. You’ll know you made the right choice when I bring a boy/girl home to meet you. <—Or maybe this is when you’ll realize you’ve made a colossal mistake! You’ll know it when I graduate high school and tell you I’m leaving to make it on my own in the world. You’ll know it when I bring home a man/woman and tell you, “He/She loves me, and we’re going to make a life together.” You’ll know you did the right thing when you watch me commit my life to this person and trust them with my heart, like I trusted you for so long. And you’ll know it when you see your first grandchild. Then you’ll know that the really tough decision you made all those years ago was the ONLY choice. Mom and Dad, please keep me. I have a lot to show you, and we have a ton to accomplish! Let me show you! We’ll do it together! We’re stronger than we know!

About Misty

I'm a Christ follower before anything else! I was born with spina bifida. I've heard it called the most devastating, crippling birth defect that is still compatible with life. I have a totally different perspective on that. I'm married to a wonderful man and we are getting ready for some new beginnings! Jump on for the ride!
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6 Responses to A Love Note From Your Tummy

  1. Cora Mayfield says:

    When we take just a few seconds to say the word “baby” instead of fetus, the whole abortion issue takes on a new light. Life begins at the time an egg an a sperm meet. SB is not a death sentence, but abortion is. I have a very strong opinion – it comes from deep inside. If we can save whales, spiders, etc. – we must save our BABIES. There’s no other way to the pursuit of life, liberty and happiness. Death affords none of this to unborn CHILDREN.

  2. Marvin Tyson says:

    Although I can say your mother and I never discussed any “termination”, and I know it never would have crossed our minds due to our faith convictions, I can understand this pressure on new perspective parents.
    We often just expect more from doctors than they are capable of delivering. Doctors are people with human weakness and, like all of us, have a VERY limited scope of knowledge. But, where they see the struggles of physical body body parts that may not function like everyone elses, the hardships of medical procedures that seem endless, and the life that will not be lived like everyone else, a parent must know that NO child lives his life like everyone else. EVERY child struggles to grow into a fulfilled and productive adult. A parent must look beyond the physical, at the whole child and what that child must mean to those who he/she will surely touch. A parent must, above all, trust God. I can’t imagine my life without the joy that you brought to it, and I’m sure your mother felt the same way!

    All my love, Daughter

  3. Misty….. Words can not express how wonderfully you put that! You have a gift and I am so glad you are sharing it with the world! Especially in light of all I am reading today… the attacks on disabled children and their parents, the deaths of sweet little children that fought so hard and taught the world so much in their short lives, the struggles and triumps of every person I know, able bodied or not.. these words and your spirit are inspirational and uplifting! Thank you for sharing!

  4. Jamie says:

    So wonderfully written, I love it!

  5. Claudia says:

    Hi Misty,
    I just wanted to tell you thank you. I am 22 weeks pregnant and having a girl with spina bifida. I found out about 2 weeks ago. I am so scared for her and what the future holds but reading your blog has helped me understand that she will be ok. I don’t know what else to say or express how I feel about all this but thank you for your wise and comforting words.

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